Let me check if we are alone....hmm...ok. So, now I can reveal some secrets that will blow your mind, Edward Snowden style:
Water is wet
Stupid people are usually pretty dumb
Many mountains elevate above sea level
black is not a color
Alrighty then, now I will have to pack my stuff and get to the next airport (note to myself: don't forget missile launcher against the ACLU helicopters) where I can live for the rest of my life from snicker bars and duty free vodka. I mean, all the secrets I uncovered are not more or less stunning than the one Snowden uncovered...which is:
I have spent the last days in my secret laboratorium and discovered a new, really dangerous, virus that spreads worse than AIDS in the 90's and turns the poor infected victims into babbling morons (latest tests have shown their brain activity is just 1% compared to the control group of normal people).besides obnoxious verbal diarhhea the 2nd main symptom are delusions caused by the virus destroying the brain areas responsible for self-perception.
this virus seems to be a mutated (and way more dangerous) version of the well known bullshitter-loudmouth-virus (discovered 1773 by Lord B.S. Loudmouth),
as the scientist who discovered it I gave the caused clinical condition the name "online overimportance delusion" (OOD).